A P.S. To the Letter Below
I got permission from Marjorie Williams, the lady who wrote me below and to whom I responded, to publish her next letter to me here on the blog. I responded to her once again after she wrote a second time. I think we all need to read these missives since it shows if we do reach out to one another across the great social divide that is out there in our country - one person at a time even - then that divide just might be closed a bit. I’m hopeful that my book, if read with the openheart with which it was written, can help close that divide as well. Hope, sometimes, is all we have. And, sometimes, it’s enough … Let’s all stay hopeful.
Therefore:
Kevin,
I was not being judgemental, nor was your other writer, I don’t
think. I’m afraid that you took the things that were meant to
be challenging for your life to be a put down of you because you have
had to deal so much with that.
The words you used that many people consider crude turn us off from
anything good you are trying to say. (words like ass, etc. that may be
common in New York as well as MS, but I teach my children not to say
because they do not enhance our lives.)
I remember you, your sister and brother when you were little, and want
the best and highest for all of you regardless of your location or
choice of living. Don’t let the people around you keep you from being
the best you can be in work, society or worship. Your are too good a
writer to let others keep you from being your best.
Now I’m raising my grandchildren who are about the age as I remember
you, so I need your prayers for raising them in the kind of world of
drugs, violence and yes–sex that they are going to be living in.
Thank you for the time you took to write. Marjorie in Columbia
My response:
Honey, I didn’t sleep last night thinking I was too upset and mean
toward you with my letter back. And indeed did pray about it a lot
this morning. It was the paragraph with my parents and grandparents
names that set me off and “the God they worshipped in Harperville”
since it was that “God” they worshipped back in the dark days in
Mississippi that allowed so many “good” people to either turn a blind
eye to the racial evil going on around them, or, worse participate in
it. I heard the n-word a lot from the pulpit growing up and how evil
Civil Rights workers were - it used to scare me to death to hear all
that. But I will continue to pray for you and your grandkids - if you,
in turn, promise to pray for me. Deal? Truce? I’ll let all my blog
readers know.
All the best - any grandmama raising kids has a special place in my old
cynical heart.
Kevin
March 26th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Dear Sir,
God loves you with an everlasting love! It is wonderful that you recognize that God is Creator (for surly He is, yet many today deny this important Truth!) However, it saddens me that you have distorted and misunderstood the meaning of the young lady who gave you a note and M. Williams who sent a comment. I feel that they only wrote you beause the love of God FOR YOU compelled them, just as the love of God is now compelling me to try to clarify some of the statements. You are, indeed, created in the image of God with a dear soul that He cares for very much! It is because of the value of your soul and every humans that God sent His only Son to take our punishment for our sin. The enemy of our souls is Satan. He is the adversary, devil,& deceiver from the beginning of time.
I’m glad you & M. Williams have come to a “truce.” She seems to genuinely care about you.
I realize that you are enjoying a successful run with your book and book signings at this point in your life and do not have an interest in pursuing any change, but if in your future, you have a desire for change, please contact the following website and seek their counsel. Numerous men and women have been healed and restored and give testimony to freedom.
Perhaps your sister would be interested since she is a Christian.
www.exodus-international.org
Thank you for this opportunity to speak.
Only God is judge. ” Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?”
Genesis 18:25
March 26th, 2007 at 6:28 pm
What an amazing exchange. It is good to see people strive for clarity beyond misunderstanding. It is beautiful to see people de-escalate conflict.
Thank you for posting the letters. As a man once raised by grandparents, I am doubly blessed by the remarks.
March 26th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
KS,
Not to minimize the great significance of the latest communication you posted between you and MW, but sometimes “ass” is the mot juste. In such cases, such words do “enhance our lives” — and our writing.
From one word-lover to another,
RS
March 26th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
Kevin –
From afar, I used to be afraid of you. Thanks to your book, now I’m not — and I mean that as a compliment. The first time I ever saw you was in a picture from Equus, at Trinity Square, with dear old Richard Kneeland. I’d read your VF profiles and see you with Peter Staley during the golden days of Act Up. I’d see you bare-shirted, sweating and running in P-town, where I spent a few weeks each summer at Tennessee’s old haunt, Captain Jack’s Wharf. Now I see you walking your dog in Chelsea, where I also live. And I’ve always assumed you were mean, Godless, and scary.
How wrong I was. (You might/must be wondering who I am by now - but I’m not a stalker, I promise you.) I was very moved by your book and felt we were practically twin brothers, with so many similar events in our lives. (I had a twin of my own.) My mother died when I was quite young — but suddenly. My father and neighbors ridiculed my “sissiness” — but I didn’t have a mother like yours, to teach me to own the word. I didn’t find a beloved mentor bludgeoned to death, but I did nurse my twin brother when he showed up at my Brooklyn apartment, his hand by a thread after a suicide attempt. I was in Impromptu in college even — Equus too — and I loved Eudora Welty. I’m glad you brought her alive, to prove she wasn’t the wilting southern violent I thought.
You had a lot more sex than I did as a young kid — I’m jealous — but I surprisingly most identified with your ruminations about Billy Graham. God knows, growing up a Southern Baptist in McKinney, Texas, how many church trips I took into Dallas, to see Graham “crusades.” (I mainly went on them so I could sit on the bus next to Don Jacobs, rumored to have the biggest dick in our class. Sadly, I never got to see it.) I was stunned by your honesty in writing about Dr. Gallman, and wondered where/what he is today. I really liked the book - and loved the cover! (It’s actually harder to write about and own up to your spirituality than any number of sexual feelings/conquests.)
My name is Kim Powers — and I wrote a memoir called The History of Swimming that came out last fall. I can relate to so much you write in your blog — from your obession about your Amazon numbers, to the ups and downs after reviews. I had thought about keeping a blog on my website, but just couldn’t be honest enough to write what I was going through as the book came out. I felt I had to keep up such a brave front — your honesty in your blog is almost more meaningful than in your book. I went through many of the same things you write about — meeting up with people who are in the book (I hesitate to call them characters), their reactions to your take on your mutual stories, etc. I could go on and on.
Bottom line, I really commend you. (I think I’m the same age as your brother Kim — 49 - were we both named after Kim of Korea? I was named after my older brother’s best friend, who was also named Kim. My brother was Tim. Cute, eh? Double trouble, we were known as in the neighborhood.
Swimming has been nominated for a Lambda Lit Award for best gay memoir (the lesbians have their own category, thank God); I’m sure you will be there next year. I have a new book coming out in October — a novel (”fantasia”as I call it) about Harper Lee and Truman Capote, called “Capote in Kansas.” (Written before the movies but that’s another story.) I think as a fellow Southerner you’ll get a kick out of it.
Anyway, my regards. It’s fucking hard to write and publish a book — and you did it. Congrats.
Kim Powers
March 26th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Millsaps Magazine would like very much to have the opportunity to interview you when you’re in Hattiesburg. If that would be possible, please contact us at the e-mail address above. Thank you very much.
March 26th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
I wish I’d seen him in equus; my loss..
mean, Godless and scary never. I enjoyed the visual however
March 26th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
Kevin: I think that you deserve happiness. I enjoy hearing about you from your niece Joey and nephews, Jake (my favorite), Stuart and of course Price. I read and enjoy your blog. My heart hurts when you write about being lonely. You have lots of people who love and care about you here in Mississippi. I have only met you once briefly when you were here visiting Kim, but for strange reasons, I have since kept up with you and always hoped for the best for you. I remember being on a flight to L.A. reading Vanity Fair…I introduced myself to the man beside me and showed him your article then told him everything I knew about you. The man asked, ” Is this Sessums Guy your cousin or something,” I said well kinda, I mean Yes if that means I am proud to claim him. Your friend, Rhonda
March 26th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
I should be sleeping. Who is this Kevin man? The hurt Mississippi once wrapped you in now learns from you. You have multiplied hope. When one man can cause another to think… my words are like rocks in my head, sleep well. You’re a new leader, Kev
March 27th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Kevin: Here is some information on P. D. East. The P.D. stood for Percival Dale. If you don’t know who he was you should. He wrote a book about Mississippi and his life as a crusading editor of THE PETAL PAPER called THE MAGNOLIA JUNGLE. He lived in Hattiesburg, Miss. in the 40s and 50s and 60s. I knew him there and later in Fairhope, Alabama where he died in 1971.
http://www.lib.usm.edu/~archives/m324.htm?m324text.htm~mainFrame
This information is from the Mississippi Room in the library at The University of Southern Mississippi in Hattiesburg. Kevin now your book will be in that room along with all the other Mississippi writers. Did you know that Maxwell Bodenheim was from Hattiesburg?
Read some of the letters by PD East that are linked on here and see what that man who stayed in Miss. had to put up with. And it wasnt much better in Fairhope either. Most all of his subscribers to the Petal Paper were northern liberals. It was an interesting time to say the least. There is a building on the campus at the University of Southern Mississippi named after an English prof who was a teacher and mentor to PD East. His name was Wilbur White Stout. He taught at USM for 30 or 40 years in the English Dept. and was a legend in his own time. He taught me and many many others the joys and value of literature. He had been at North Carolina with Thomas Wolfe(the orginal one)and Paul Green and The Carolina Playmakers in the 1920s.
Here is a PD East quote, ” Love your enemies it makes them so damn mad”.
March 27th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Kevin
Just heard you at Prairie Lights. Superb!!!!! I wish you would read the whole book on tape. I would have gladly stayed in my chair while you finished reading the book. I look forward to reading it. I hope you have a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY in Iowa City, and that you enjoy Hotelvetro while you are here. Check out the sushi at Formosa
Peace and Love
bobby
March 28th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
KEVIN~~
Where shall I start?? This is Jordan, your cousin. I am thrilled for you! Your book is AMAZING. I cannot make myself put it down…..I was actually late for an appointment with my academic advisor this morning because I was so caught up in your words!
Let me tell you how impressed I was when, upon entering the Barnes & Noble last week, your adorable picture was staring me square in the face. They had your book front and center, on the very first display table when you walk in the door. I’m thinking, “Here I am in Birmingham, Alabama and my gay cousin’s book is ACTUALLY getting recognition”. How proud I was!
There are many things I would like to tell you….comments on the book thus far, about the family, and about how you have very recently been the catalyst for renewing my hope in my own future. I would love to be able to communicate w/ you through private messages. So far leaving a comment on your blog is the only way I’ve figure out how to get in touch.
My Email adress is : hopelessavage18@yahoo.com
If you are interested in looking at pictures, seeing as it has been YEARS, you should go to my MySpace page. (you can click under my pictures to see what I look like @ 23….as well as the whole fam…even Jacob’s precious ‘oops’ (as i like to call her) Julia. there are pictures from Thanksgiving at Pappy’s in the woods that I thought you might like)
My MySpace URL is : http://www.myspace.com/jordietheliberal
Please let me know how I can furthur get in touch w/ you….there is so much I would like to say!
(and if you tell me that your signing in Birmingham next week is cancelled, i will cry like a baby
Love,
Jordan
March 28th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Hi Kevin,
You have blown me away. You had a featured article in the Life Section of the Sun Herald this past Sunday. The Sun Herald serves the Mississippi Gulf Coast. As I read the article I became fascinated with your book and of course, you. I clipped the article so I can store it in the book. I was going to the local Walden Books but found your blog and read where you wanted to get the overall number below 100 at Amazon so I logged on the PC at work and I ordered it. While ordering I noticed there was an Audio CD offered so I ordered that also. The book and CD will arrive tomorrow. I was born in Brookhaven MS, I am 57 years old, raised very poor, Southern Baptist and I am Gay. I lived in a tightly locked closet most of younger years. I suspect most folks knew because of some sissy ways I had (have) and the way my voice sounds. Yes, When I was young I was called sissy more than I care to remember. It is strange though as I got older that mostly stopped. I guess I decided to stand up for myself and I demanded respect in adulthood. I don’t want to rattle on right now but you may hear from me again very soon after I have read your book.
Dear Lord, bless and keep Kevin Sessums safe and healthy. Grant unto him the strength needed to endure (especially now, during his book signing tour). In Jesus name…amen.
PS: Your brother takes care of the ladies in my immediate family and they all really love Doctor Sessums.
Respectfully,
David
February 16th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
2/16/08: Kevin! Hello! I’m trying to get in touch with you (don’t have your email address on me but came across this spot on your blog to get a message to you). Can you contact me asap? Thank you! Congrats on the success of your book! Best, Jen Weisel jweisel@hfmus.com
March 16th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Kevin,
I just finished reading your book and was deeply moved by it. I attended Millsaps from 1980 to 84 and new of you from the pictures Lance put up of your performances. I also heard great stories of you from Ward Emling. I received The Frank Hains Award at Millsaps and knew little of what he meant. No one would talk of it.
I too was a Mississippi Sissy and had many similar experiences at Millsaps. I was doing a lot of photography at the time and was drawn to the the antebellum house that was falling apart on Webster. My companion, a fellow with the name of Channing Brenholtz who looked like the child of James Dean and Paul Newman was posing for me that day. We went into the abandoned house which had now been stripped to the studs and took several pictures. The lighting combined with the youth of Channing, and the dilapidation of the home cast a timeless quality to the photos. I realized the pictures were now taken in Mr. Hains home. Here is a link to the pictures in what I believe were the last of the house before it was torn down.
http://web.mac.com/rob.williams/Site/Lost_Generation.html
I briefly met you at Crunch gym here in Los Angeles and we had a nice chat. Congratulations on the success of your book and let me know if you are going to do a reading in the area. I’ll make you some Mayflower dressing.
Robert Williams